All the forces in the world are not as powerful as an idea. An idea can rewrite the future, but an idea is powerless if it stays inside of you. If you never pull that idea out for others to contend with, it will go with you to the grave, six feet under the ground. And, the best way to keep it alive and working is ‘expressing it’. While people don’t hesitate to jot it down, they do show reluctance when it comes to talking it out to people.
This article is for the ones who have, at least once, been a part of “The Inglorious Introverts”. Here are 8 steps, cut to the chase, in which you can be the Outgoing Type you always wanted to be:
1. Read to write better and listen to talk better:
While you would whine about this not being the first time someone advised on how listening is important, let us get one point straight, “If your mouth is open, you’re never learning”. So, zip it up and listen, not hear, LISTEN. Movies with subtitles or music with lyrics would not only help you understand but also learn.
2. Speak often:
Your childhood quote, “Practice makes a man perfect”, is exactly what this is about. Practice per se is the answer to most of your questions. Consider chances of talking as an opportunity, not a threat. It doesn’t matter if the person is an old friend, a part of your family, an acquaintance, a waiter at a restaurant, a delivery guy, or a random person at the bus stop. Known or unknown, talk. Simple as that.
3. Learn from your mistakes, don’t fear them:
To err is human, to learn is superhuman, and to fear is hardly human. Make them, admit them, and the next time you use the same phrase, make sure you run a mental check.
4. Be confident, or at least pretend:
This is one clichéd statement given by most of your Communications Guru. But, let’s face it, confidence is the first thing that your mind, body and soul lose when it comes to talking to an individual, leave alone public speaking. You have a rush of adrenaline, your heart rate increases, your breathing gets faster, your pupils dilate, your mouth gets dry and your fingers don’t work anymore. In spite of these life taking reactions, you’re expected to look into the other person’s eyes during a conversation. But hey, self-confidence can be learned, practiced and mastered; or at least imitated. Your brains can be fooled. Hum to yourself “I’m cool and I know it”, and bingo!
Another way, accepted and used by most big shots, is the Circle of Excellence. Create a virtual circle in front of you and add up your favorite colors, music, if possible, your favorite people, and a heavy dosage of confidence. Throw the circle, enter it and see magic happen!
5. The tone of voice- sharing not just information, but a feeling:
It is known that only 20% of the message transfer is through words. Most of the credits go to the tone. The pitch and timbre show true feelings.
6. What’s in the pie matters:
Now that you’ve known how to talk, let’s talk about what to talk. Impress the mediocre with the icing, but the connoisseurs are always a tough task. Depth in content and smoothness in structure yells out to the experts that you have prepared for the talk. Sit, predict FAQs, prepare your conversation, get it proof-listened from someone, who is good with that field, rehearse and then be *AWESOME*.
Disclaimer: Overdoing this may get the other person disgusted. Not many like crammed poems. “Think fast, talk smart” is the motto.
7. Can I get some humor, please?
Humour is the major essence of showing confidence. Master comedy and you’d overcome nervousness. It not only relaxes the ambiance but also makes the conversation a wee-bit informal. Come on? Who wouldn’t want to laugh a bit? But remember; humor is like salt, too much or too less can spoil the dish. Add humor to taste.
8. Vocabman: I have the power!!
Thoughts are processed and converted into words. If this process gets messed up, the thoughts are not successfully transferred to the receiver. The major motif of communication, forgotten. To avoid this mishap, you ought to be good with words. And, to be so, you should know more. Three ways to be good with words: Read, read and read. Having a dense vocabulary helps you convey your message with the same intensity. “I’m very angry” can always be replaced with “I’m furious”. And, you also get a chance of flaunting your vocabulary skills. Isn’t that very beautiful? Or may I say “exquisite”?
After reading this, I bet, you sure would be just inches away from becoming “that famous person from the college”.